I’ve been watching shows like Hoarders and Clean House, both of which are dwarfed by this CNN story.

I watch them and get inspired for a couple of hours to do something about my apartment. It’s helping, kind of.

My apartment is a mess. Part of me wants to post pics, and part of me it way too embarrassed. Maybe I’ll do ‘before’ and ‘after’ pics when I get it clean.

Thing is, I haven’t always been this messy. Actually, it’s beyond messy and into disgusting.

There was a time when I lived alone, and my place was CLEAN and organized, highly organized, even. When I went through what I call the Great Depression (a clinical depression lasting several years, not the economic depression of the 1930s), I gave up. With an elementary school aged child, things were never where I left them, and things never got put away. I became absolutely blind to clutter, mess, even food being left laying around.

I haven’t taught my daughter anything about regular house cleaning. Thing is, I do know HOW to do it. Bill made sure I did. I know that doing dishes every day, cleaning bathrooms once a week, vacuum at least once a week, dust and polish furniture once a week, clean the kitchen floor once a week, all help make a nice home. This was probably the biggest lesson he tried to teach me.

I don’t know why I can’t make myself do these things. I did when I lived alone and when C was younger. For some reason, now, I find it nearly impossible to do.

Yes, like most people, I’m tired when I get home. I’m working a day job and running a small business in the evenings. Some nights, when I have to pick C up at tae kwon do after tutoring, some nights I don’t get home until 9pm, and I like to go to bed at 10pm. But even when I come home earlier, like right after the day job, I don’t spend time cleaning. I jump on the computer and turn the tv on, and lose myself in mediocrity.

I should.

I don’t need to spend 5-10pm just sitting on my butt. I could use some of that time to make my place a little more pleasant.