Weekly Oracle Reading Dec 30, 2013 – Jan 5, 2014

I’ve seen a lot of other readers do publish weekly readings and people seem to like them.

I find a couple of things odd about it, which is one reason I haven’t started doing it.

Most of these readings are 3-card readings but they are also temporal readings, meaning the three cards are supposed to represent 7 days as the beginning, middle and end of the week. Of course, 7 days don’t really break up evenly like that. Some say Card 1 is for Mon/Tues, Card 2 is for Wed/Thurs and Card 3 is for “the weekend.” I suppose that makes a kind of sense, but sometimes I find more Real Life happens on the weekend, while the week is concentrated on Work Life. So, having only 1 card represent the weekend seems a little light.

However 3-card readings can also lend themselves to other breakdowns, like Body/Mind/Spirit or Health/Work/Relationships (or Family) or other break downs.

I’m probably going to do one of those most weeks.

The other thing I find weird is that to me, readings are intensely personal, so saying that a reading is for everyone. . . strikes me as odd. I know that it’s general energy trends, not specifics, but I still find it weird. I don’t know if I can do that.

So, for now, I’m going to do the reading as if it were for me, and if I can see how it can relate to everyone, I’ll put that in.

I’m also going to ask for feedback. . . if you can see how a card or interpretation can relate to you, let me know!

Now, onto the reading. . . .

I’m using Colette Baron-Reid’s Enchanted Map deck this week.

Body: 

11. Balancing Act – Reversed – 

That makes total sense. Upright the card would indicate that I am in balance, reversed, I am not.

And it’s true. My own physical health has taken a backseat to many other things. I’m not active and I have not been eating well. I’m also having trouble sleeping. It looks as though this may continue.

 But I think I’ve drawn the card to get me to focus on this issue, so I can use it to focus on my health. Interestingly, my eyes are drawn most to the heart-shaped flower petals, which are supposed to represent love and devotion. That being out of whack is something that has been on my mind lately, as well.

Mind: 

53. Listening.

This image of the Elephant is enchanting. The elephant has large ears to hear, and there seems to be music playing, or is that the birds singing? The green is a calming and healing color.

My eyes are drawn to the elephant’s wise and knowing face. He cannot see the birds where they are perched (well, maybe the one on his tusk) but he doesn’t question where the music is coming from, he just knows.

Elephants are symbols of memory, wisdom and good fortune. They always remind me of my great-grandmother. Edith always had elephant statues and on jewelry as symbols of good luck.

It’s funny because after months of being silent on the blog, I’m just starting to write again, finding my voice, and now the guidance is to Listen.

That’s ok, though, because Listening and reflection are already on the schedule for this week. 🙂

And just the last few days, I’ve been realizing that I’ve turned back to using entertainment as distraction. I’ve been watching all these British shows on Hulu, pretty much non-stop (as I discovered a few I had never seen). I enjoy the shows, but I’m using it as a way to avoid going within, to avoid Listening to my higher self or to Spirit.

I suspect it’s because I think I’m not going to like what I hear, so I want to avoid hearing it. But it’s time. It’s time to hear what’s been trying to come through.

Spirit: 

25. Metamorphosis Reversed – 

The butterfly on the chrysalis is an obvious symbol here. Going through great changes.

But aren’t we always going through changes? If you aren’t changing inside, are you even alive?

Reversed, this is supposed to be a reminder that change can be painful, but worth it.

Funny, I’ve been thinking the worst is behind me. Perhaps not. Perhaps there is more spiritually difficult times on the horizon, and this is a reminder to keep the end-game in mind?

My eyes are drawn this time to the flamingos, with their necks curving into a heart shape.

Ah.

Maybe that does make sense, with some things in my personal life that have been coming to light recently, and ties back into the first card.

Yes, change can be uncomfortable. And it can hurt to give up on long-held dreams.

But, sometimes that change really is necessary.

How about you?

So, do any of these cards speak to you?

Do you see symbolism different than I’ve mentioned?

Does anything I’ve said apply to you this week? (and if you’re reading this long after this week, does it speak to you on the day you’re reading it?)

Not to get too awful salesy, but if you’d like to book a reading with this deck, you can do so here.

Let’s talk about money & business

I thought I’d give you guys and myself a little run-down on my income for this year, since it’s the first year I’ve tried to make money with this blog.

 My tutoring income is one of my lowest since I started doing it – but I did not advertise or really hustle for clients at all.

Source
Gross
Fees
Net
AdSense
$8.95
$8.95
YNAB Referral
$6.00
$6.00
Leonie Referral
$93.95
$93.95
Amazon
$11.85
$11.85
Tarot Sales
$1,210.00
-40.66
$1,169.34
Tutoring
$3,340.00
$3,340.00
Totals
$4670.75
-40.66
$4,630.09

Now, Amazon doesn’t pay until you reach $10, so I do have another $0.51 earned there that’s unpaid.
Google Adsense doesn’t pay until you reach $100. Total, since 2009, Adsense has earned $24.98 from several of my blogs.
The fees mentioned above are PayPal fees.
I have not yet added up buying office supplies, paying for my URL, or any other business expenses, but my profit is likely really small. 
I guess I thought it was important to post this because when starting out, a person may NOT get a few thousand a month right away. “Get your first 5 figure month in 3 months, starting with nothing!!!”
Yeah, no. 
It might work like that for someone that already has a huge list or can pay for advertising, or knows someone who will pimp her stuff.
But most people don’t.
I could have made more, and I know it.
When my energy ebbed in the summer, I got behind on completing readings. Then I felt guilty for not getting them done on time. 
I didn’t feel like it was a good idea to push and advertise for more sales when I wasn’t fulfilling my obligations from sales already made.
I’m hoping that this will also encourage me. If I can do better in 2014 than I did this year, then even if I don’t meet my own sometimes lofty goals, I can still track how I’m doing, and see that I’m better.
Here’s the thing, though. I don’t know if readings is really what I want to do.
I started doing them because it was something I could do, already had the stuff for and people would pay for – NOT because I’m totally passionate about doing readings. 
I LOVE doing readings, but I love doing them when I feel like doing them, not when I *have* to.
What I think would be better, for me, is to create something that could sell itself even when I’m at a low-energy point.
For me, products might be better than services, because I can’t/don’t have the energy to be consistent with services. 
Next problem: what could I write or create that would sell? 

You know what happens when you make plans?

First you make plans. . . .

Playing with my phone camera 

I wanted this weekend to be about solitude, reflection, finishing up my Core Desired Feelings, setting up concrete goals and working on my vision board and my Amazing Year calendar and workbook. I was going to have a massage this morning, and spend the rest of the weekend in reflection. I was supposed to have off from Wed-Sun.

Then, I forgot to turn in my November invoice for my contract gig, meaning I didn’t get paid this month. So, ok, cancel the massage, but it’s ok, the rest of the weekend can go as planned.

Then, something had to get done for the contract job on Friday, and I don’t mind that, actually like that they asked me to do it, so, ok, worked 7 hours.

Friday I found out something else had to be done on Sat. Still, really not a problem – it’s only 4 miles away, and it’s a quick something, so fine.

Tonight, sleeping on top of my bed, rather than under it.

Then the big thing. Last weekend, I noticed Pumpkin (my big, fat, orange cat) was hiding under the bed and not eating.

This is so unlike my normally social baby. I was worried.

He’s been to the vet 3 times this week. Right now, there’s still several things it could be, but the best bet, based on symptoms, is pancreatitis.

Right now, he has antibiotics, pain medication, and subcutaneous fluids. Today, he also got a shot of anti-nausea medication and an appetite stimulant pill (1/8th of a pill! seriously 1/8th!!).

Fresh poster board for my Vision Board.

This is, obviously, another financial hit, but luckily C is helping me with the cost.

But the point is, worrying about my baby and taking him back to the vet on Thursday and today is not helping me with the reflection and goal-setting and workbook working on stuff.

I may not get my stuff done this weekend.

And that’s ok!

Taking care of my sick kitty is more important than getting my goals written down by a certain date.

I was able to spend a little time tonight working on them, though.

I bought a new poster board and hung it where my old one was.

Water colors!!

I got out water color paints and paper and made a couple little things to hang on the board.

I’ve never been into New Year’s Resolutions, but last year, attempting to set real goals and reviewing them regularly really did help me focus on what was important to me.

This year, I’m more focused and starting to become a bit more financially stable (thanks to the contract gig). I feel like I can really begin to focus on my next steps now.

I already mentioned my Word of the Year in my last post, so here’s the start of my new board!

Getting started!

Words

My tiny black tree. 🙂

.

I finally gave a nod to the season by putting up my tiny black tree. I bought this at Border’s several years ago, when C and I were renting a room in someone else’s house. We didn’t have any room for a real tree or for the 4 ft artificial tree I had in storage. C was into skull & crossbones and her favorite colors were black and red. It seemed perfect for us at the time

Last year, I didn’t decorate at all. I just never got into the mood to celebrate. This year, I put up my little tree. At least I have a *little* spirit this year.

I’m working on my Amazing Year Planner but I’m also working on Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Map (I got the digital version last year in her “pay what you can” sale).

I’ve chosen my word for 2014. I chose it a couple of weeks ago. It’s been bubbling in my head for weeks, maybe even months.

Amazing Year and Desire Map Workbooks

I think perhaps reading The Desire Map earlier in the year stuck in my subconscious. The Desire Map is about finding your Core Desired Feelings – decide how you want to feel, and create your goals and make your decisions based on how you want to feel.

I chose my Word before I started doing the Desire Map work, but I definitely chose it with the idea in mind that this word was going to shape the decisions I make from now on, not just for this next year, but for the rest of my life.

I’ve had hard times, I’ve made bad decisions, I’ve done things I’m not proud of, I’ve created strife where there didn’t need to be any, I’ve created drama for the sake of being dramatic. I’m tired of that.

Earlier in the year, I wrote that I kept coming back to a wallpaper Leonie created that said, “Joy is an option!”

For the last several weeks, I’ve been thinking that I want freedom, dancing, liberation, abandonment, unshackled happiness, radical love. . . . in other words,

I want more joy in my life. It’s time, past time for it. I deserve it.

This may mean making hard decisions and letting go of things I’ve held onto for a long time.

But those things are pulling me down, and I want to FLY!

Words have power.

The things we tell ourselves can shape how we see our lives, and ourselves.

Having “Success” plastered in a place where I couldn’t avoid it this year did help. I didn’t accomplish everything I wanted to, but I made a lot of progress on a lot of fronts that have me in a better place emotionally and financially than I started the year.

I’ve had moments of happiness and contentment. And now I want more than that.

It’s easier to look for this kind of emotional fulfillment when my financial picture is starting to get better.

With this in mind, the business may change.

I love giving readings.

But I would like to expand to reach people who may not be interested in readings, but are beginning to explore their inner lives.

Heading into a new year

Unprofound

It’s been more than a month since I posted about Changes.

I like the work I’m doing for the small company, but there are some things I need to keep an eye on.

Thanksgiving week I flaked and didn’t do all the work I was supposed to do. It’s not fatal to me, but it meant I had to talk to the owner about a couple of uncomfortable things.

I’ve been running hypomanic – not getting enough sleep. Unfortunately, I’ve only been partially productive.

I’ve been thinking about all the work I did earlier in the year on business and this blog.

Where do I go next?

First, I want to talk about some of that work.

I listened to and watched dozens of “telesummits”.

I downloaded workbooks.

I brainstormed.

I talked about it.

I started selling

I “invested” in a couple of small things and one big thing. I was able to arrange a payment plan for a big course. And then, two or three weeks into the course, I collapsed and didn’t finish the course, or pay for it (yet).

I joined a couple of communities for support.

I did make some money. Not nearly enough to live on, but enough to show that it was possible for me to make money.

I became overwhelmed, though, not with the actual running the business, but with all the “this is how to run your business” information flooding my inbox.

At some point, they all began to look the same. They were pushing their own products to tell me how to run/set-up my own business.

I became aware that a couple of them were not much further on the road to creating a business than I was. And that’s fine, really, because part of what one needs when seeking help is to see that someone else has done it or is doing it.

But they were all sounding alike.

And one of my favorites. . .

She released a new course.

I quickly realized that it was very similar to her old course, and it still included some stuff lifted directly from another source (she did give credit to that source).

All of these sources started out wanting to help people. And somehow they always ended up convincing each other to help people build businesses.

It got overwhelming and repetitive at the same time.

And I kept getting stuck at defining my purpose and my ideal client.

I don’t know.

I don’t have an “ideal client”.

I want to help people, and I think straddling the lines of logic, spirituality, and mental illness, my experience is unique.

I also watched several people start out with reasonable offerings and watch their prices double, triple or more in a short period of time.

Now, I know why. Once you get popular, your time becomes more valuable. If you’re doing one-on-one coaching or readings or anything else that takes your time, you need to charge enough that you don’t become overwhelmed, taking too much of your time away from family and so on. And one deserves to be compensated for their time. I get that.

But the advice became uniform: give summits/classes. Sell packages. It doesn’t matter if you’ve even actually created the content yet. Sell it first!

I don’t like that. I just don’t.

I get that you don’t want to spend a lot of time creating something no one will buy, but you really want to sell something you haven’t created yet?

So, no, I’ll never do that, and if that’s what it takes to be successful. . .  then fuck it, I won’t be successful.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to turn this little blog into a full-time job.

And I don’t care.

I like writing the blog. I like giving readings. I want to write a book.

If other people enjoy that, then great, maybe I’ll make a little money here and there.

If not, well, ok then.

Now that I have income coming in from another source, I’m not totally stressed, and can do what I want with this.

So, I’m still here. I’m still struggling balancing my life with the bipolar. I’m still giving readings. I’m still writing, though less than I was.

Part of why this comes up is that Leonie Dawson’s Amazing Life and Biz workbooks and calendars are out. If you’re interested in buying them, I’m an affiliate so buy through that link. 🙂

This may be the last year I buy it – I think I may make my own for next year.