Gardens

I didn’t have a lot of time to write this week. The political situation this week was insane, so here’s some happy inanity as an antidote.

On Saturday, BFF and I went to the Apple Hill area of Placerville. Most of the farms open next week, but a couple are open now. We spent too much money, but got some Ginger Gold apples, an orange-fleshed honeydew melon, sage honey, and a nice cover-up/scarf versatile garment. We stopped in the downtown Placerville area for lunch and wandered around in some of the stores.

 

Sunday, I went to my daughter’s new home and played in her garden. Found some cucumbers that were hiding from me last time, got some lovely tomatoes and peppers, and cut up some figs to dry.

At home, I processed a bunch of dried lavender that I picked earlier this summer. The lavender had been hanging to dry for a few weeks. I pulled the dried flowers off the stems and put them in jars. If anyone needs lavender, I might have more than I can use before next years harvest.

 

 

Here I am again

and again and again and again.

When I first started this blog, I was trying to work on self-discipline issues. And I still am.

So many things in my life are chaotic because of my lack of self-discipline and inability to form new habits.

I tried to start a bullet journal a couple of times, so that I could do habit tracking. I didn’t even make it one month each time.

I’ve bought lovely planners. Even when I remember to carry them with me, I only use them sporadically.

Right now, I have a list of a few things I’m trying to start. I have managed . .  . 4 days in a row of 3/5 of the list out of the last 2 weeks.

I’m listening to the audible book version of Atomic Habits hoping to use it to help. Clear talks about “habit stacking” – making a small change, then another, then another on top of each other. Which completely makes sense.

Until I start trying to implement it.

I know I’m not unique in this way. I mean, books like Atomic Habits or blogs like Zen Habits wouldn’t exist if I were unique.

But I continually feel overwhelmed trying to start new, healthier habits.

And I look back and see, I was struggling with the same things years ago. My house is not as bad as it was in 2013 when I wrote that, but it still isn’t the way I want it, either.

For right now, I’ve made a chart on a dry erase board for starting a few small things.

  • 15 mins of housework
  • 3 homemade meals
  • 30 mins of study toward a self-study course

I know to some people, making homemade meals and doing a minimal amount of housework sounds. . . piddly? little? bare minimum? But for me, even doing those small things on a regular basis would make a big difference in my life. Making all my own meals would help with both health and cash flow. I tend to do housework in large chunks when I have energy or am motivated. If I did even a little every single day, my environment would be so much nicer.

One thing I did last year that sort of forced me to pay attention to my environment was to start gardening. My apartment complex started a small community garden. Last fall, I took over a plot no one else was tending and planted a bunch of winter veggies as well as tended the perennial herbs I’d planted the year before. Then I went a bit crazy and started a bunch of plants on my porch. It required me to tend them pretty much daily, and I did well for 8 or 9 months. Then I got sick, was sick for about a month, then took another month to fully recover. I couldn’t bend over to fill the watering can or to pour the water. It was depressing and all the plants I started last summer died. I’ve just begun replacing them.

What healthy habits do you have? How did you get them established?

*Note: links to Amazon are affiliate links.

Image by Zoltan Matuska from Pixabay

Roller Coaster of Emotions

Wow. I knew I’d ignored my blogs for a while, but didn’t realize I haven’t had a substantive post since 2014! A lot of ups and downs in that time.

  • Summer 2015 – got a good job with grown up money and benefits for the first time in over a decade.
  • Winter 2015/2016 – an old friend needed a place to stay, and in the interest of paying the universe back for the help I received, I let him move in with me. Signed up for a Master’s degree online program. Then I got diagnosed with colon cancer. Since my daughter was grown up and moved out, having someone in the house while I was going through that really helped. Although I had to give up privacy that I crave. (Also, he’s an alcoholic, but that’s for another time). I had to put the Master’s on hold. Moved to a 2 bedroom apartment.
  • Spring and Summer 2016 – dealing with chemo, but also connecting to other women veterans through a new local group.
  • Fall 2016 – jumped into the Master’s program taking 2 classes, which really stressed me out.
  • Winter/Spring 2016/2017 – got a credential for work, was completely buried under with the Master’s. Over my head a bit. Ended up with C in one class I took, and had to redo it.
  • Fall 2017 – got a promotion at work.
  • Winter 2017 – forced Roommate to go to the V.A. for addiction counseling. There was a whole big deal with the neighbor calling police and everything.
  • Spring 2018 – took time off from the Master’s to give myself a break and reevaluate if I wanted to keep going. My daughter graduated from university.
  • Summer 2018 – got sick of the alcoholic roommate. At this point, he’d lost a couple of jobs, started a new one and now was drinking regularly again. I couldn’t take it anymore. Asked him to leave.

So, up, down, up, down, up, down.

But that’s life, right?

I’ve missed writing, but in the time since I stopped blogging, I was somewhat disconnected from my emotions and spirituality.

Also, when I was blogging before and trying to make a business out of my witchiness, I was steeped in dozens of courses and other middle-aged white women trying to do a spiritual or coaching business. There was a whole circle-jerk of us? them? advising each other to up-level and increase your email list, and get the clients who will pay hundreds of dollars for a couple hours of talking with you.

I grew to hate it. Especially after one such coaching session, where I said I wanted to make a set of affirmation cards or something like that and the coach insisted I needed to do intense coaching sessions to make money, just like she was. No. That isn’t what I want to do. Then she insisted I put more coaching sessions on a credit card I didn’t have.

I don’t want to hustle to find broken women and take money from them, often when they are at a really low point. And it began to feel like a multilevel marketing scam.

No, I liked my blog when it was just me, trying to figure life out. I’ve really wanted to get back to blogging for a while, but couldn’t find my voice. I think it’s important for me to get back to it, to center myself again.

How are you doing? What have you been up to the past 5 years? FIVE YEARS, good grief.