Perceptions of family

I don’t really know my brother, well half-brother. We share a father, and he’s 9 years younger than me.

I’ve only met him twice: just before he turned 4 and when he was 16.

We recently connected on Facebook. We chatted online, and then called each other on the phone.

We had a second talk last night, a really long one (I’m out of minutes now!)

Interesting things came out in the conversation. I don’t want to talk to much about other family members here, and I don’t want to say too many negative things. But my brother and I share certain viewpoints about our dad and his mother.

Considering that my major exposure to the both of them was when I was between the ages of 5 and 9, with a little sprinkling when I was a young teen, and he’s known them his whole life, I found this extremely interesting.

Our experiences are completely different, but at the same time, we agree on so much. I used to think that my point of view was a little skewed, but hearing that my brother thinks many of the same things that I do is very cool. Maybe I shouldn’t second guess my impressions so much.

Family & relationships

Family at its best can be supportive, encouraging, and wonderful.

Unfortunately, many of us have family members that do not meet that ideal.

I had a fight with my sister through facebook the other day. I had intended to write a blog post that day, but the fight had me so upset, I was afraid to write.

I don’t want to write a ton of bad stuff about my family, because, after all, they made me who I am.

My sister means well, and I know it.

Thing is, she remembers things very differently from how I remember them. I don’t think either one of our recollections is more valid than the other, they are just different. But it’s hard for me to reconcile her visions with my memory.

She also seems to have an overly-optimistic view of Family in general, and ours in particular.

But, the bottom line for me is that I have to make decisions about what is best for my daughter. I don’t really want to explain this here further, but, I’ve made a decision that my family is not going to be happy about. And I have to learn to stand my ground.

I’m such a people-pleaser. I want everyone to like me and to understand my decisions. My friends on another forum have been trying to make me realize that it is not possible to do.

Some people who only know me casually think that I’m really strong. My family thinks that I’m a selfish bitch. Neither is really true, from my own point of view.

I’ve done things I’ve had to do to resurrect my life after screwing it up completely. That doesn’t seem particularly strong to me.

I feel that I’ve had to distance myself from my family in order to maintain some sense of self, some personal sovereignty. I don’t think that makes me a bitch.

What I am is someone trying to navigate my way through life, while raising my daughter to not be as frightened of others as I am. I suppose that means I have moments of strength, and moments of bitchiness to balance out my moments of losing myself and allowing myself to be bullied.