New Name: Life Uncalculated

Back in November, I talked about wanting to change the name of the blog. I didn’t get any response through here (probably because not many people read it), but I did get some responses on the other forum.

As you can see, I decided to go with “Life Uncalculated” (Thanks, LQu!)

This is a nod to my math-teacher-ness as well as to the chaotic nature of being bipolar.

Also, while I’m working on becoming more disciplined, I’m not by nature disciplined, so the name captures that, too.

I was going back and forth between just going for the change or being stuck in my rut. But the old name no longer inspired me, and as I was working through Goddess Leonie’s Incredible Year Workbook,  realized that I want things around that inspire me.  So, I’m rebooting this blog with a new name, renewed focus.

My posting is likely to still be sporadic, but one of my goals is to become more consistent. I also want to start promoting the blog, but want a few more good posts on here first.

I am starting to create a calendar for the next quarter to help me plan my posts.

What are your goals for the next few months?

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The Low Point

Call me Ishtar.

My step-father’s name was Bill. He and my mother were married just before I turned 4, and divorced when I was 20.

For most of my childhood, I resented him, fought with him, was completely angry at him.

Eventually, we reached a place as adults where we got along and I grew to respect him. I’m glad that when he and mom split, he stayed in my life. And he was in my daughter’s life. And his third wife is an amazing woman that is still in our lives.

He died rather suddenly in October 2006.

At the time that he died, my then-10-year-old daughter and I were part of the Hidden Homeless. I’d had a serious of failures over several years, and I’d almost completely withdrawn from interacting with the real world.

My best friend, N, lived in a 1 bedroom apartment with two cats. My daughter I moved in and slept on the floor.

This was not where I had pictured my life ending up at the age of 35.

Four years earlier, I’d had a dream job as an electronic engineering technician at Intel. Two years earlier, I’d been going to school to switch careers, and was debt free.

Now, in 2006, I’d failed in school, failed to find a new job, lost my own apartment and my daughter’s sense of security, and now, the man to whom I *needed* to prove myself a success was dead. And he’d never see me succeed.

All good beginnings start at the bottom.