Last year at this time, I was frantically trying to finish up my student teaching, grading papers, writing final exams. . .
I had surgery about seven weeks before and I was physically and emotionally exhausted.
I was looking forward to finishing up and collapsing for a few weeks.
I didn’t know that it would take a year to start to feel like myself again.
In some ways, I feel like I “lost” another year. Isn’t it bad enough that I feel like my thirties were a total waste due to depression? I have to start wasting my forties, too?
I could have had my credential a year ago. I could be working as a teacher now instead of scrambling to find a job. I could have worked on building my business instead of ignoring it.
But, right now, I’m feeling like things are turning around. I’m seeing good things that can happen and I am actually able to see the steps I need to take to get there.
I don’t remember when the last time I felt this productive and capable was.
Maybe I just really needed this last year to rest, reflect and rejuvenate.
Maybe now, I’m finally ready to take on the next chapter of my life.
New career, new business prospects, opening up to romance, feeling stronger and healthier. . .
Goddess Leonie’s workbook is helping, but it’s not like anything in there is NEW information. I’ve known about making goals and setting action items before. But this time, I feel like I might actually be able to follow through.
Am I actually manic right now? Is this unrealistic? I don’t know, but I hope not. I hope this is exactly right – enough energy to do what I need to do but not so much I start being crazy.